I have a job. I mean, a real one.. with a business card and email address.

I’m not even out of college yet and i’m a Director. no, not of a movie.. of a organization.

ME. A DIRECTOR.

I was going to be mad at Danilo if he didn’t contact me before he left. But he did.. to say he was taking a flight today instead of his intital flight out yesterday.

We even texted each other.. a few seconds apart. I asked if he had arrived in Miami and he texted not even two seconds later to say he got in an hour ago.

creepy.. ah man, why can’t we be SOMETHING. I mean, a title.

I know we can’t do anything when we live on different coasts. Maybe it’s not even the title I need. It’s knowing he cares more than just a friend.

I’m working. I might get a chance to hop on over to the store across the street after work because it’s closing. But I bet the clothes will still be $100+ because it is Sunset Plaza after all.

Yesterday, AMAZING. It started off a little shaky. I really wanted to go to Marek’s for his vegatarian thanksgiving.. and then go to Mike’s.

But it didn’t turn out that way. possibly better.

We finally got to mike’s with chinese food, chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin pie, whipped cream, lemonade, wine & beer.

Efrain, and oscar were already there.. I made an effort to make stove top stuffing.. and failed. this was because it required a shot of goldsloger before hand.

and the only thing I had in my system was juice so gone went the stove top.

Mike was on Piano and Jamie on guitar we all sung along..

Just when I think i’ll do something new.

I do something the same. I by this I mean, the places.

I went to Melrose Place Cafe.It was a gourmet breakfast. small portions for $$$. that was different.

I cut my hair. short. like. really short. and I love it. same place. same guy. who remembered me!!

Had a small dinner @ casbah.

went to my favorite Reform School.

Bought an indian stencil block for making fun art @ Uncle Jer’s also an old place!!

Talked to my best friend and told her my after graduation plans.

A month before I graduate i’ll go to Miami for a weekend to look for a house.

For me and my best friend.

We’ll have dinner parties and once a week art making.

we’ll really live life. No TV.

I’ll learn french.

go to the beach.

get a dog. walk the dog after dinner.

It’s going to be insane.

Because we have fun just walking down the street.

This just might be the longest sleepover known to man.

Sunday: I set my alarm for 5:00am or so I thought.. I set it for 5pm. I woke up and thought, man. it’s awfully bright out.. what time is it?

6:30AM

FUCK! FUCK! I have to be at work in a half hour.

Thank god, I wear my clothes to bed! For once..

I brush my teeth and grab my detoterant and backpack and race out the door.

I’m running, down the street and around the courner.

And here I wait.. for 20 or so minutes for the damn bus.

It’s 6:55 there is no way I’ll make it to work.. I better start calling.

A car pulls up behind me, and asks “Do you need a ride?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you need a ride?”

I stand there and think to myself.. My parents have always told me not to take rides from strangers.. but i’m going to be late for work.

So I walk around the car and hop in.

Am I crazy?

“Where are you going?”

Sunset Plaza.

He explains he’s running early for work..

He’s from Wahaka, Mexico.. where the majority of the kitchen staff I work from are. But he’s a little north of there. And he’s been working at his current resturant for 15 years and makes about $12/hr in Santa Monica.

What’s your name? Kelly

And yours? Tony

Tony says: Maybe i’ll see you next Sunday

I run to the caffe and he honks and waves.

————————————————————————

Why are we afraid of the worst? Why can’t be believe there are nice people, strangers that actually want to help us. Why do we close our doors? Do you know your neighbors? Would you go out of your way to help people? Why do you? Why don’t you?

I shop a lot.

$40 here.. $60 there and then another $50.

I just bought $300 jeans for.. $30.. (Stitch’s Denim available @ Kitson)

and a $300+ purse for $10.

I have a problem.. or do I?

Does thrift store shopping make it OK?

We never did talk about US. We went to the Bistro on Santa Monica Blvd. and I told him the big news.

I’m making a documentary. You read it first here! I won’t be filming for another 6 months at least. It will be about the adventure I take with my best friend across the US for one year, we will leave everything behind and only write letters and send postcards. We will learn to farm and see if this life is really ‘uncomplicated’..

Life is really beginning to happen, I can feel it. And for Danilo, he’s getting a real job as well.. he’ll be working on an independant film and doing special effects for movies. He really has found a great connection that can lead him to the life he wants.. and me as well.

But we aren’t going on the same path.. we have different wants. But at the end of the night, we are.. wow, we came back to my apartment for blackberry tart. It was more of a makeout session. And I didn’t want it to end..

We stood there an hugged, in the hallway, the kitchen and living room for what seemed like hours.. and it was, already 11pm.. we had only met up 5 hours earlier for dinner. But this is what we do.. we can hold each other in our arms for hours, just standing there not doing anything but hugging and it’s the most amazing feeling, quite possibly better than sex. Yes.. yes.. better.

But timing is everything.. and we missed each other by a few weeks..maybe days. Maybe it was not meant to happen at all. Me and Danilo. Maybe it will eventually.. down the road, but not now. Or maybe, maybe it will always be that thing.. that we never made official. I don’t know if there is a word to describe our relationship. I just have to take it for what it is.

It’s been almost a month since I’ve seen Danilo and he’s on his way to pick me up. Maybe Cuban food. Maybe Italian. But whatever it is, he says he has a lot to tell me.

I want to bet you that it’s not about us. But then i’d jinx it.

It’s about a job and a place to live.

Not about us.

He didn’t move to LA for a relationship, especially when i’m leaving in a few months.

But.. maybe i’m wrong.

I hope i’m wrong.

Is it moving time already? But I just got here..

The landlord is not letting us split the rent. But I might be moving to Venice Beach by the end of the month.

Lets see here.. I lived in San Fernando Valley, Koreatown and currently LA on the edge of Beverly Hills and now it just might be Venice Beach for the month of December.

Which is great, I mean.. it’s farther away, and rent is higher.

But, it’s near the beach, fully furnished AND I bet it’s not an icebox.

I mean seriously. I don’t even bother changing when I get home. I’m not kidding either!  I wear a heavy jacket, jeans and shoes to bed. It’s that cold in the apartment. Don’t ask how.. Did I mention a queen size coverlet folded in half and a light comforter on top of all that. Yes, maybe the higher rent is worth a well rested night and falling asleep to waves(?)

But my roommate did just give me a vintage Schwinn road bike.. could be worth $20 or $200. I’ll guess the first though.. but is that a scheme to get me to stay and give her higher rent.

I never really went to concerts growing, no Spice Girls or Backstreet boys. My first one, was Yellowcard at Grad Night in Orlando.

And now that I’ve moved to Los Angeles temporarly i’m catching up..

I’ve seen..

Girl In A Coma @ Knitting Factory

Avett Brothers @ Orpheum Theater

Catherine Feeny @ Hotel Cafe (love this place!!)

Ferraby Lionheart @ Bootleg

and tonight, A Fine Frenzy and Landon Pigg @ El Rey Theater.

Tonights event is Free, why.. because I met this awesome guy on the bus who works backstage and said he’d get me a free ticket because i’ve got a great spirit. It’s because I love meeting people.

Like today on the bus, I met a guy from Toronto who biked his way

And at the end of the month.. it’s going to be Rooney.

See, I told you I was catching up.

A guy wearing a lacoste shirt and sweater drapped around his shoulders orders and I if he had two cents. He says no and then digs his hand into the tip jar for two cents.

I’m in shock, I stare blankly at him and then take the change. But I really wanted to yell at him.. do you understand, we have to split tips between 22 people. Fucker.

And then, there was the girl with the sunglasses who spoke really fast. I think she was famous, but I don’t know her name.

The guy who came in with one of those heavy metal credit cards.. and total me I was all over the place.. I closed last night and then I had to open, so thanks. I know..

The guy who ordered a strawberry banana crepe.. yeah, I don’t like you too much.

His name is Stan, today.. he has yelled at me for charging him for peppercini’s and a bagel.. I though he was going to yell at me for charging him soy milk but today he ate half a red velvet cupcake and then returned it. I hate getting him in my line.

But then there is the sweet older women dressed to the nines and has an accent like my grandmother. She asked for an iced coffee in a mug, and she says “Oh you’ve made it to me before..” But I don’t remember.

The women who got two gelatos and made me miss the south.

Joey and Jenny, he brighten the day when he came in..

Having Jason at the register and we check out boys and he asks if he should put his # on the coffee cooler.

The new we’ll call her Pinot, she moved out her from Texas for a relationship.. a girl she met on myspace.. and claims.. “but she’s not crazy..” oh but what you don’t know is, you’re so close to getting fired.

She tells a customer that the Earl Grey is caffeine free. No, not this one.. and the customer says.. oh but can you ask her, she just told me it was.. I didn’t have to heart to say “oh, but she’s still new.” as if.. asking her will make it alright.

I coudn’t get Danilo off the phone. I had to answer my text mesages and get a move on. He gave me an update on his day and sounded like a shitty day. His car got broken into and he’s behind in work for a webseries.

I went out with Lamar to see Wait Until Dark with Audrey Hepburn.. wow, such a great movie!! Well casted and nicely shot!! We walked down Miracle Mile when Lamar was hungry for Ice Cream.. my manager at the caffe said he’d stay open for 10 more minutes if I wanted anything. But when Lamar saw the pub I was talking about we changed plans.

The night ended well with 3 or 4 hugs and he said let’s do this again, and again, and again.. haha it was a good night and it was nice for someone to be on the same level as me. We even agreed about movie seatings having to be directly in the middle and not too low or too high.

This is what dating should be. Not What Danilo and I had. It was a great night and Danilo hasn’t called me back though..